Welcome to May’s edition of Pure Agony. I have been busy this month working hard writing articles for the many requests I receive from journalists. I’ve had a few things published in April, including in New Woman magazine, Glamour, Top Santé and Harpers & Queen. Recently, I received one request asking for a few words on how Pride was connected to self-esteem. Well I felt as if someone had sent me manna from heaven! Pride is an incredible feeling. To feel proud of yourself is absolutely related to something you have achieved or regularly achieve. Unfortunately, we quite often forget to feel pleased with ourselves and particularly if we’re parents, can neglect to tell someone how proud we are of them.
We’re all familiar with the parent who on seeing your report card, concentrates only on what you didn’t get rather than on how hard you must have worked. Or the parent who finally comes to see you play football and cheers when someone scores a goal only you were either not kicking it at the time or protecting the goal!
Parents don’t always mean to miss the point this way but it can happen. Thoughtless remarks or behaviour can affect a person for a long time, leaving a mark rather like a groove on a c.d. I sometimes feel that if we were opened up much like a tree is cut down there’d be rings just like the grooves to represent every year we’ve experienced.
It is really important to feel proud of yourself – you recognise it because you feel a kind of warm glow inside, a bit like the advert for Ready Brek! Do you remember the child who went to school with a red ring glowing around them? Pride has that sort of effect. It isn’t about letting everyone else know and arrogantly shouting from the rooftops, but it is about having it acknowledged by significant others in your life. If your parents can’t see something you’ve achieved is important to you, make sure you tell them. If you’re a parent and you take what your children do for granted, slow down sometimes and remember how significant approval was to you when you were young. It makes you feel special to be told you’ve done something well but it makes you feel rich to be told “I’m proud of you!”.
So, what else have I been doing? Still travelling the country for Mölnlycke Healthcare. I was in Manchester this week being driven by someone from the train station to Worsley. I nearly laughed when I watched him drive the car one handed with the other arm resting along the back of the chair next to him. He seemed so laid back. Do you ever watch body language? It can be very revealing. Try sitting in a café pretending to read the paper sometime. Drink your coffee really slowly and watch couples as they sit near you. Register how animated they get and what happens when they get cross or are happy. Tension is incredibly easy to communicate and when someone is riled or irritable even their shoulders seem to screw up towards their neck with agitation! It’s difficult to remain interested in someone when you feel bored and it’s nearly impossible to stop yourself laughing when you think someone is a real idiot!
So, what have I got coming up? Well, I’ve been asked if I’d like to work 2 days a week in southern France during the summer in a Spa called The Arc House. It’s near Toulouse and would mean I’d be away every week from May to September. If you’d like to look at it and fancy a residential stay in a luxury spa in France, contact www.thearchouse.com for more information. Looks really luxurious!
I’m also going on The Aurora, a boat sailing out of Southampton for 2 days in September. It’s an opportunity for me to speak about Stress and to run 1:1 coaching sessions on the subject. So if you fancy hearing me speak at a Marketing event run by Richmond Events, then I’ll see you there 16/17th September.
Well, that’s all from me for this month. May sees me running two day Stress programmes – if you want more information about what these are all about, please view my website at www.insight-psychology.co.uk or mail me [email protected] and I’ll let you know more.
See you all soon,