March 2006
  Celebrity
JOE ALVAREZ 

This month dear readers has been the busiest in the showbiz calendar. I can barely stand up. I am tired and probably still intoxicated with the finest free Champagne. And just remember one thing peeps; I do all of this just for YOU.

The events I covered included: London Fashion Week, The Brit Awards, The BAFTAS, MORE magazine style awards, The London Party, NME Awards...etc.etc. London Fashion Week was once again a fashionistas carnival. As always all the shows ran over an hour late but we were compensated often with free champers. Needless to say with beautiful women everywhere and free booze I was like a kid in Hamley's toy store with all the toys completely free. Shows? Oh yeah the shows...Erm, THE catwalk show to see each season is the JULIEN MACDONALD one. Most shows in London Fashion

Week lack the big name models, but JULIEN MACDONALD never disappoints. Models included LIZ JAGGER, -yes Mick's daughter- ERIN O'CONNOR and PARIS HILTON. The show was excellent, glitzy, and the finale had gold ticker-tape all over the auditorium. The goodie bags were pretty good too. At the after party Julien and Paris got pelted with flour bombs by a lone female as a protest against the designer's love for fur. Never a dull moment. The Philip

Treacy show was fantastic as it was sponsored by MOET and by the time the show started I had drunk a 'few' small bottles of the lovely bubbly and can't remember what happened next. Ah yes, after my colleagues pointed me the right way-, MICHAEL OWEN, TARA PALMER-TOMKINSON, ERIN O'CONNOR AND ALEK WEK modeled Philip's dodgy selection of chav gear as it was for UMBRO. Unbelievable. He's a hat designer!


PARIS HILTON.


Next was the Brit Awards. This year, to be honest, it was utter pants as far as the red carpet stuff was concerned. The big 'stars' MADONNA, PAUL WELLER etc. back-doored it and we were left with little totty and lots of guitar bands that won't make me any money. The only 'totty' was a big group of girls in bikini's covered from head to toe in gold paint dancing on the red carpet. I get more than that in my bedroom every week. And to add insult to serious injury THERE IS AN ALCOHOL BAN! The whole of the Brit awards is conducted alcohol free. Guess how long I stayed......... NME awards not much better. Bunch of pussies.

The BIGGEST event of the year in the UK is the BAFTAS. This is the UK's Oscars. This year once again it chucked it down with rain. And more rain. Celeb's outfits and shoes -specially the women's- got ruined in the deluge. The outfits weren't that flamboyant as the women chose to wear mainly 'safe' but boring black outfits. Every year I tell them we need colour!! Papers and magazines prefer outfits in bright colours. Its eye catching for the front page/covers.



RENNE ZELLWEGGER



RENNE ZELLWEGGER chose the safe option though she did look spectacular. The 'brave' were CHARLIZE THERON and RACHEL WEISZ. Charlize chose a silky dark blue number and Rachel went bright purple. Charlize won the contest. The men wore the standard dull penguin suits.



CHARLIZE THERON



As far as the awards go the 'Best film' category was won by BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN. It simply won because the main protagonists play gay cowboy characters. Its a fantasy come true in 'lovvie' land. That's it. Its an OK average film, but no more. Best actor went to PHILIP SEYMOUR -butts- HOFFMAN for his great role in Capote. Best actress went to the great REESE WITHERSPOON for her role in Walk The Line. I won't bore you with the sub-categories.


GEORGE CLOONEY



JAKE GYLLENHAAL


Guests to the BAFTAS included GEORGE CLOONEY, the now single JUDE LAW -A.K.A. DAVE-, HEATH LEDGER, JAKE GYLLENHALL, PIERS BROSNAN, JANE SEYMOUR, THANDIE NEWTON, DIANE KRUGER amongst others. Sadly I have no time to mention in detail other premieres I covered this month -Casanova, -with SIENNA MILLER- and THE MATADORK sorry THE MATADOR! prem with PIERS BROSNAN so I'll say bye bye for now.



PIERS BROSNAN



Over and out, see ya next month.


JOE ALVAREZ

joealvarez@verycool.co.uk

Words and all pictures copyright Joe Alvarez 2006.

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