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Dear Readers,
Welcome to the month of romance! Valentine's Day is the most romantic time of the year for some but it can also be a sad and disillusioned period for many single people. The lack of a card and or invitation often highlights their need for love and companionship.
This Valentine's season Dinner Dates is enhancing romantic prospects for our members and their guests by holding two special events; a pre-Valentine's Day Drinks Party at The Kensington Roof Gardens on Friday 12th for the chances to meet a potential Valentine's Day Date plus a glamorous black-tie post-Valentine's Day Ball at the Park Lane Hotel on February 20th for more opportunities..
I hope my article this month with flirting tips will help make your special dreams come true. However if you have already found a partner and need help to re-kindle some of those sparks on the love day of the year I also offer a few hints for couples; extra ideas not only for Valentine's day but any day of the year!
Have a great month,
Best wishes
Hillie Marshall
www.dinnerdates.com
www.dinnerwithfriends.co.uk
FLIRT TO FIND YOUR VALENTINE
The key to successful flirting is conveying to someone that you like them and having fun in the process. Your chosen 'target' will be attracted by your appearance, body language, the tone and style of your voice and of course by what you say. What you say could make all the difference so here are my four tips:
1. Playful teasing and a humorous exchange of insults!
Playful teasing allows you to increase the 'personal' content of your tête-à-tête, keeping a light-hearted tone, disclosing more and being intimate in a non-threatening way. Once you feel comfortable you can add a good-humoured exchange of insults which men respond particularly well to as it closely resembles the friendly banter they use to express friendship amongst themselves. Remember humour is a powerful flirting tool. It's virtually impossible to flirt successfully or enjoyably without it!
2. The Five Second Gaze & Smile
This is a powerful method of communication without words and from a distance. Fix your gaze on the 'target' for five seconds and then give an encouraging smile. The reaction is usually instantaneous and hopefully your 'target' will find the opportunity to approach you. If your strategy results in a glare remember you've lost nothing more than five seconds of your time and look around for someone else.
3. Flirt with people of the same level of attractiveness.
Choose your 'target' wisely and be honest with yourself as flirting works best between people of more or less equal good looks. However many men lack social skills expertise so if a man can boost his confidence and charm it could give him the edge over a more attractive rival!
4. Use of the 'postural echo'!
'Postural echoing' is when someone unconsciously mirrors the posture of the person they are interacting with, indicating a rapport and harmony between them. Research has shown that people are not consciously aware of someone deliberately mirroring their postures and therefore you can use the 'postural echo' in flirting to produce a happy feeling of togetherness between you both.
Ideas for the Flirts who became a couple
Receiving cards from an unknown admirer has always been an exciting part of Valentines fun. Remember the butterflies you used to get with a new relationship and making Valentines Day yet another excuse for a passionate romp. So, what happens when your love days and the chocolates become a bit too routine?
To make this year's Valentines Day extra special why not give the gift of time, togetherness and special care instead of expensive presents for it is a lonely to feel emotionally neglected on Valentine's Day. Let your loved one know that he/she is important to you. On Valentines Eve maybe hide little love notes in your partner's car or briefcase that they will find on their way to work or at work. Start Valentines Day off by watching the sunrise sipping hot coffee, followed by a shared bubble bath or shower, then indulge yourselves with a scrambled egg with smoked salmon champagne breakfast! What comes next is up to you and available time!
ASK HILLIE
Your chance to get your worries off your chest
Whether it's marriage guidance, relationship advice, workplace or career difficulties, or family problems I'm here to help. A problem shared is a problem halved, so if something is getting you down or troubling you please email me at HYPERLINK "mailto:hillie@enterprise.net" hillie@enterprise.net
Dear Hillie:
I broke up with my boyfriend 2 years ago and since then have never really got back into the dating game. I have been set up on a blind date by a friend on Friday and am terrified about it- what if one of us thinks it goes well whilst the other doesn't feel the spark. Is there any way to tell if he's not enjoying it?
Hillie says:
I have never believed in blind dates. A blind date is merely someone else's idea of who you might like and they rarely work. You have agreed to this date on Friday so keep your word and go on it. Try not to feel terrified and just think of it as an exploratory meeting for you to find out whether you want to see this person again. Remember it's your choice, no-one else's. Make sure you meet in a public place and that you have made your own arrangements to get home. Also give yourself a safety net by asking another friend to call you about an hour after your date has begun. In this way, if you are not enjoying yourself, you can make an excuse that you have to leave because something urgent has cropped up that you have to deal with. Never give your contact details to anyone unless you feel sure you want to be contacted by them. If they ask, take theirs instead and say you will call.
Forget looking for a partner, you need to widen your social circle. Join as many new pursuits as you can such as a health club, sports club, evening classes, amateur dramatics, a singles social events and holiday company such as Dinner Dates where there is no pressure. Make as many new friends as you can and they in turn will introduce you to their friends. Dating is a numbers game; the more people you meet, the more chance you have of meeting someone who is right for you!
Dear Hillie:
I'm in my late 20's and have been single for two years. I've had long term relationships in the past but at the moment I just don't seem to be finding the right man for me. I recently met a really lovely man at a friends party and we spent the whole evening together chatting and laughing and he kept asking me for my number and said he wanted to see me again but I wasn't sure about him so I decided not to give him my number. I regretted it the next day so when I bumped into him a few days later I decided to give him my number as promised but then he didn't call which made me feel really rejected. I feel like I read the whole situation completely wrong. He seemed so keen and charming when I first met him and then I heard nothing. I'm beginning to think he might be married. How could I have got it so wrong? Have you got any advice on how to read a man when you're on a date? I always seem to read men wrong. Any help would be greatly appreciated,
Hillie says:
First of all you did nothing wrong. You gave this man your number the next day and if he was keen enough he would have phoned you. Some things are just not meant to be – that's life and you have to move on. Rejection is a fact of life which happens to all of us from time to time; it's how you deal with it that matters. So just pick yourself up, dust yourself down and look forward to meeting the next lovely man.
If you are ever unsure about whether to give someone your number, ask them for theirs. With this way you can give yourself time to decide whether or not you want to see them again.
Dear Hillie:
I am 47, divorced with two children (daughter, 17 and son, 13), two dogs and a demanding full time job. Come Friday evening I am absolutely exhausted and spend most of Saturday recovering. Sunday is usually spent watching my son play football and walking the dogs or catching up with family and friends - then it is back to work! I would love to meet someone but any new relationship requires time and energy - neither of which I have. Any suggestions?
Hillie says:
In many respects you are no different to other hard working single people in that you work hard all week and have the weekends off. If you want to meet someone you will have make time for yourself and build up some energy reserves. To start with you can try to get to bed earlier during the week; aim for one hour earlier to start with. Also make sure you sleep in on Saturday and Sunday mornings. You need to make new friends so limit the number of weekends where you catch up with family and existing friends. Join as many new pursuits as you can such as a health or sports club – exercise will give you energy and strength. These clubs are usually full of single people and many clubs organize social activities as well; an evening class during the week (once you've gained a bit more energy) where you can be other like-minded people; an amateur dramatics society where joining in with others to produce a single goal immediately creates new friendships; a singles social events and holiday company such as Dinner Dates where you can book events on a Saturday or Sunday night and meet large numbers of other single people. Make as many new friends as you can and they in turn will introduce you to their friends.
Hillie Marshall
Hillie started her working career as a radiographer and then deviated into show business as a singer and actress and eventually being theatre producer for her company Edwardians Unlimited. Following her divorce in 1989 and with two young children to bring up, she launched Dinner Dates, the social events and holiday Company for single people. Today Dinner Dates is the UK’s longest established company of its kind with over 17,000 members nationwide.
The phenomenal success of Dinner Dates for singles gave Hillie the idea of a social events company for couples, so in 2007, she set up Dinner With Friends, the UK’s first couples only dining club.
Not only is Hillie a successful business entrepreneur, her experience with people has been put to good use and as both an Agony Aunt through the internet and in magazines, she offers advice and a sympathetic ear to thousands, making sense of personal and relationship problems.
Hillie is an accomplished author having written three successful books on relationships. She has given relationship advice on numerous TV and Radio shows such as GMTV, Richard and Judy, The Big Breakfast, Esther Rantzen, Kilroy, The Vanessa Show, The Time The Place, Carlton’s After 5 and was ‘Dr Date’ for LBC.
She has two children Nicola (27) and Jamie (24) and lives in Chiswick with her husband Angus and their cat 'Rufus'.
You can e-mail Hillie at: hillie@enterprise.net
Her books: 'The Good Dating Guide', 'Hillie Marshall's Guide to Successful Relationships' and 'Agonise with Hillie' can be bought on line at: www.hillie.com
Information on Dinner Dates can be found at: www.dinnerdates.com
Information on Dinner with Friends can be found at: www.dinnerwithfriends.co.uk
Words copyright: Hillie Marshall 2009
 
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