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Hi peeps! For those of you still alive or sane from the swine flu hysteria let me advise you something: you will be OK. I've never seen or heard such a mass exodus of our senses. It's pathetic. The amount of people taken in by the media and the World Health Organization scare mongering is truly unbelievable. Yes, you will feel slightly ill. Not quite as bad as the normal flu. It will be over much quicker than the normal flu. Unfortunately, some people have died, although many had other illnesses too. More people die from the 'normal' flu variety than the new hyped version of pig flu. Remember bird flu?
Exactly. Not much happened. Calm down people! I feel much better now, thanks.
A deadly character who 'flew' -ha ha- in recently -John Dillinger- played by one of the most popular actors of modern times JOHNNY DEPP was in London to promote his new film Public Enemies. Directed by Michael Mann, the gist is this; It is the story of the last few years of the notorious bank robber John Dillinger. He loved what he did and could imagine little else that would make him happier. Living openly in 1930s Chicago, he had the run of the city with little fear of reprisals from the authorities. It's there that he meets Billie Frechette with whom he falls deeply in love. In parallel we meet Melvin Purvis, the FBI agent who would eventually track Dillinger down. The FBI was is in its early days and Director J. Edgar Hoover was keen to promote the clean cut image that so dominated the organization through his lifetime. Purvis realizes that if he is going to get Dillinger, he will have to use street tactics and imports appropriate men with police training. Dillinger is eventually betrayed by an acquaintance who tells the authorities just where to find him on a given night....
Johnny Depp
I liked this flick, although It left me wanting a bit more. I felt it didn't tell me enough about John Dillinger. Was he an amiable sociopath or an anti-hero? Or just a guy who robbed banks? Most probably the latter. Meh! At the premiere Johnny seemed very shy, although gave us the poses we wanted for good pics as always. Every time I have photographed him around the world, he has been courteous and the consummate professional, never rushing me in any way.
The most successful cinema franchise ever, Harry Potter, had its latest installment -Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince - premiered in London's Leicester Square. OK EVERYBODY knows the general plot of the Harry Potter films, so I won't even begin to tell you about it.
Harry Potter cast
What you need to know dear readers, is that we all got the drenching of our lives! The heavens opened as the stars were arriving, and the downpour was almost biblical. At one point it got so dark that the street lights came on around Leicester Square. DANIEL RADCLIFFE posed in front of us and there was not much we could do, the rain was so heavy. He had to walk off promising to return when the rain dissipated. Although I had a water proof 'rain' jacket it wasn't a deluge jacket, as I was wet in half an hour. The cast got soaked. EMMA WATSON had to even lift her dress to walk on the sodden red carpet, giving us a good glance of her underwear. My flash stopped working due to water in the works, and I had to try and dry the flash hot-shoe connectors with my wet shirt. It worked for around five minutes each time.
Emma Watson
Various colleagues had cameras water damaged and one flash gun blew up. My cameras were OK thankfully and I was able to cover the event. By the time JK Rowling turned up the rain had dissipated. That woman couldn't put a foot wrong if she tried.
Alan Rickman
JK Rowling
Helena Bonham Carter
One of the best parties of the summer is always the Serpentine Galleries Summer Party. Beauty, brains, decadence and good drink is what generally makes a good party. Well, mine anyway. The Serpentine party never disappoints. After all these years I still don't quite know the purpose of these parties, but the excuse is always some charity for some hapless cause.
Thandie Newton
Damien Hirst
Erin O'Connor
The result is a gathering of fashionistas, actors, socialites and artists getting tanked up with drink. Alright, me included, but I do it for YOU dear readers. The real gossip is that JADE PARFITT -apparently she is a model, so deeply unattractive that she gets hired to eradicate vermin by scaring them to death- has the most unkempt feet I have EVER seen any model have. I wouldn't hire her for any of my shoots EVEN if I was offered free KRUG champagne for a year! Now, can you imagine the state of her feet! Just look at the photo, I really hope you're not eating, because you will lose weight.... You won't be eating for a while.
Jade Parfitt's feet.
Her feet are way too big for her shoes, they haven't invented size 19's as yet. How can you pretend to be a model and have feet like that?!! Does she carry a disk of Photoshop CS4 in her handbag to hand to photographers after each shoot? Any earlier versions of the software won't be able to handle the work involved. Isn't it cheaper to have a week long pedicure? Well, perhaps not. I have never seen her work, they are making a documentary to find out what she actually does, I'm told. Other better presented guests included: THANDIE NEWTON, TAMARA ECCLESTONE, JADE JAGGER, LEAH and JO WOOD, NATALIE IMBRUGLIA, LADY HELEN WINDSOR, DAMIEN HIRST, BILL NIGHY et al.
Natalie Imbruglia
Mario Testino
The Inglorious Basterds premiere came to London's Leicester Square -like all premieres- this month. QUENTIN TARANTINO's new movie is like a spaghetti western but with WWII iconography.
Inglorious Basterds producer, Diane Kruger and Quentin Tarantino
The basic plot is that in Nazi-occupied France during World War II, a group of Jewish-American soldiers known as "The Basterds" are chosen specifically to spread fear throughout the Third Reich by scalping and brutally killing Nazis. The Basterds soon cross paths with a French-Jewish teenage girl who runs a movie theater in Paris which is targeted by the soldiers. The result is the customary Tarantino bloodbath. They could've stopped the war at a stroke by dangling JADE PARFITT's feet of a low flying airplane. Trust me, the war would've stopped. I think it's the Tarantino film with the most dialogue. Worth watching. Sadly at the premiere BRAD PITT was a no show as he was back in LA child minding. Angie was in Iraq visiting US troops and doing her charity spokeswoman bit. Good job I photographed him various times in Cannes this year at the same premiere and associated photocalls.
Mickey Rourke
Diane Kruger
Rihanna with sunglasses
MICKEY ROURKE, was on the red carpet looking lost with what seemed like an old rug stapled to his head. DIANE KRUGER looked fantastic showing very well toned legs, but sadly -for her- was outshone in the glam department by pop star RIHANNA. The singer looked absolutely stunning and she even took her sunglasses off to show off her lack of bruises by boyfriend CHRIS BROWN.
Rihanna without sunglasses
And last but not least, the lovely PENELOPE CRUZ was in town promoting her new flick Broken Embraces by PEDRO ALMODOVAR. She told me how she always loves working with - Pedro. Ever since she started her acting career, she admired him very much and was always her ambition to work with him.
And now you've done it sweetie.
Penelope Cruz
Over and out, see ya next month.
JOE ALVAREZ
joealvarez@verycool.co.uk
Website: www.myspace.com/redcarpetspecialist
WORDS AND ALL PICTURES COPYRIGHT: JOE ALVAREZ UK 2009. |
