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It's been an interesting month peeps. The members of the G20 -the twenty 'richest' nations in the world- (although there's only 19 in the G20) have turned up in blighty for the London Summit 2009, so they can all do synchronized head scratching whilst they figure out what to do about the world economy. Although what on earth is Argentina and Turkey doing here? Argentina was virtually bankrupt not that long ago with huge riots all over Buenos Aires. Turkey, what can I say? Why in G20? Well, they all decided to spend $1 trillion to help the world economy including developing nations, abolish tax havens and also $250 billion for overdraft facilities for poorer countries, which they're -normally- unlikely be able to repay. I hope they skip Africa as it will take them about four seconds to plunder/steal/spend the LOT without showing ANYTHING for it as usual. Yes, its true and I don't care what Bono and Geldof have to say about it as they know absolutely bugger all about these matters. I'm an expert compared to them. Bless them. Don't get too exited as these 'benefits' are aimed at the third world or 'developing economies' so it won't affect us for the for the foreseeable future. However the UK and US markets loved it and the stock markets has gone up all over the place. At least for the day. Better than nothing.
There's also legislation being introduced to limit bonuses and supposedly better accounting with the banks.
Wait a second, deep breath; HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!! Hilarious.
Barack Obama and Gordon Brown.
When BARACK OBAMA and wife Michelle turned up at 10 Downing Street to meet our un-elected prime minister GORDON BROWN it was a media frenzy. Thankfully the leaders took it all on their stride and we had a relaxed photocall. Our poor Queen was dwarfed by the American couple. Obama's sidekick HILARY CLINTON was in attendance also although no-one was quite sure why. JAMIE OLIVER was in charge of the catering ensuring the leaders of the G20 ate their greens. The menu was solely British, perhaps that's why the French President NICOLAS SARKOZY was more than ten minutes late, the awkward fool. Everyone sat at the dinner table, but him. We were quite sure he did it deliberately.
The hapless morons that took to the streets for a 'peaceful' anti capitalist protest during the G20 summit delivered everything but that. Although the great unwashed seemed peaceful at first, they soon became restless and then discovered that the Police tactics were the ones they always use. They cops block all the surrounding streets and don't let anyone out. That way there are no running battles across London and damage to property is minimized. Although I sympathize with some of the protester's views regarding the criminal negligence that most banks have shown with the way they are run, they -protesters- don't help themselves. They are full of -sh-t?- cliches regarding the 'Police state, maaan' and really lack imagination of any kind. Capitalism 'baaaaaaaad maan', like communism EVER worked! Idiots. The majority of communists don't live in communist countries. They live in capitalist ones. They're not THAT stupid. Give up your freedom? Most of the protesters there hadn't worked in years, mostly their OWN choice. You're not allowed to protest in a communist country like that. Most protesters I saw where students, -idealists, but naive to the point of stupidity- the willfully unemployed, and the long matted-hair types or neo-hippies. I was there taking pictures although I soon left when I realized there were no goodie bags, champagne, or canapes of ANY kind. Euugh! When I asked where the Moet bar was I was met with a cold stare. Who organized that! Thankfully with a press card, the police allowed us -the media- in and out of the cordoned area provided they were not fighting stinking oiks at the time.
Hilary Clinton and David Milliband
There were a couple of premieres this month that deserve a BRIEF mention.
ZAC EFRON returned to London's Leicester Square for the premiere of 17 Again.
What would you do if you got a second shot at life? Class of 1989, Mike O'Donnell is a star on his high school basketball court with a college scout in the stands and a bright future in his grasp. But instead, he decides to throw it all away to share his life with his girlfriend Scarlett and the baby he just learned they are expecting. Almost 20 years later, Mike's glory days are decidedly behind him.
Zac Efron.
His marriage to Scarlett has fallen apart, he has been passed over for a promotion at work, his teenage kids think he is a loser, and he has been reduced to crashing with his high school nerd-turned-techno-billionaire best friend Ned. But Mike is given another chance when he is miraculously transformed back to the age of 17. Unfortunately, Mike may look 17 again, but his thirtysomething outlook is totally uncool in the class of 2009. And in trying to recapture his best years, Mike could lose the best things that ever happened to him. And who cares? I didn't. It's a good
flick for Zac's fans to go and see, but not quite for me.
Fast and Furious premiered in London. Starring VIN DIESEL, PAUL WALKER, JORDANA BREWSTER and MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ. Vin Diesel and Paul Walker reteam for the ultimate chapter of the franchise built on speed -- "Fast and Furious." Heading back to the streets where it all began, they rejoin Michelle Rodriguez and Jordana Brewster to blast muscle, tuner and exotic cars across Los Angeles and floor through the Mexican desert in the new high-octane action-thriller. I must say that the best thing about the premiere here were dolly birds all over the place. Biggest surprise was to see VIN DIESEL with a DOUBLE CHIN! Yes, I know! VIN DIESEL! There you go, that was the best bit.
Vin Diesel.
The Empire magazine film awards took place in London once again and there was one surprise. HELENA BONHAM CARTER won Best Actress for her role in Sweeney Tood which she starred with JOHNNY DEPP. Its the infamous story of Benjamin Barker, a.k.a Sweeney Todd, who sets up a barber shop down in London which is the basis for a sinister partnership with his fellow tenant, Mrs. Lovett. Based on the hit Broadway musical. OK it was a pretty good film and perhaps Helena can act, although she's had good breaks with these roles with Director TIM BURTON who happens to be her husband. Would she have won an award if her husband didn't employ her in all his films? Erm, NO.
Gemma Arterton.
Sean Bean.
Viggo Mortensen.
Sadly however, for anyone that cared, when Helena arrived at the awards she used the rear entrance. She seems to like that a lot as she does it often. Tee hee. I was ecstatic she didn't want any pictures taken. Best Actor went to CHRISTIAN BALE for the Dark Knight.
Olga Kurylenko.
And finally dear readers, here's a picture of myself and my other half out in the tropics. We were there -Venezuela- on business. Long story. Anyway, Venezuela is geographically amazing, but the towns and cities are filthy dumps. There's nothing to see in the capital Caracas and it's a dangerous hell hole with a short, fat commie ar-e hole running the hapless country. I had one of my cameras stolen in the capital. Enough said. But hey, it was fun if you didn't look out of the car.....If you like the idea of South America, try Colombia, Chile, Brazil or Argentina and go well insured.
Joe and Natalia Alvarez
Over and out, see ya next month.
JOE ALVAREZ
joealvarez@verycool.co.uk
WORDS AND ALL PICTURES COPYRIGHT: JOE ALVAREZ 2009 |
